Australia Invaded - War Declared

Welcome back to another surely exciting ride with the boys from Cross the Line Designs. Actually, today your ride is with only one of the boys, as I discovered my business partner overslept on his day to drive, but that's not all bad I guess. On the one hand it was a little nippy waiting for him to arrive (which he didn't - I woke him up when I called to ask him where the %&$* he was), but on the other hand, it made for a safer, less stressful ride to work today. If your memory is good, you'll remember a post from December 14 (click here if you don't remember), which proves my driving ability is superior to my business partner's.

Oh yes, right, the reason you're reading this .... um ... I have some shocking news for you today. The fight against weapons of mass destruction has taken an unlikely turn. After NATO's search in Iraq left them empty handed, there was much talk about where the weapons of mass destruction may have gone. One of the most common theories at the time was that the weapons were moved to Pakistan, BUT it turns out they're in Australia! Who would have ever thought? According to REUTERS, an invasion of northern Australia has commenced, covering approximately 1,900 miles from Queensland to Darwin. And the invaders are taking no prisoners; they've even been wiping out animal species along their way like snakes, goanna lizards and quolls (cat-sized marsupials). Accordingly, Australia's military have been asked to scramble to fight back the invasion of, get this, over 200 million ........ cane toads (which I think are kind of a more elite group within the invading toad military, similar to the Navy Seals).

That's right ... I said cane toads! Don't laugh though; their skin is poisonous and they really have been weapons of mass destruction for certain Australian animal species, like the ones mentioned above. Apparently, the Australians decided to introduce a population of 101 of the cane toads to Australia (that they got from Hawaii) back in 1935 in a failed attempt to control the population of native cane beetles; the Hawaiians are still sticking out their long tongues at the Aussies about this. From the initial 101 cane toads (wasn't there a movie about this or am I thinking of another animal?) in 1935, they have now spread to a population of more than 200 million (now that's a whole lot of ... well ... you know .... froggy style, if you know what I'm saying).

The Aussies certainly have their hands full ... with air rifles and golf clubs ... which are a couple of the weapons of choice in fighting the invasion. Up until now, the toads advance has allowed them to capture approximately 25 more miles of territory each year, having now achieved "near-plague proportions" status. This is one of my favorite parts .... if that wasn't enough, the toads (like many military nations) have been working hard (and have been successful) at developing a stronger, faster soldier (I mean toad). According to REUTERS, the "cane toads have evolved bigger legs to help them move faster." Australian military officials have been meeting with their cane toad counterparts in an attempt to negotiate certain land rights in exchange for some of the toads' military evolutionary secrets, but the toads have, thus far, not been willing to share. Apparently, this has the Aussie side "hopping mad," to which the toads have responded that they "can take every little ribbet of what the Aussies can dish and will be in Australia well after every last Aussie croaks" (sorry ... sometimes I can't even look at myself anymore).

Ok, that's all of this I can take for today, but I'll be back to invade the blogosphere again tomorrow. In the meantime, keep your eyes on the road ... you never now what's going to hop into your path.