There's Nothing like Nue Love

Ahhhh ..... at last, the weekend has ended and we're back to work, which means ..... another week of The View from the Front Seat!!! Are you as excited about that as me??? Oh, speaking of excited, the day may have finally come when men can take back a little self respect and start falling over themselves a little less when it comes to pursuit of the ladies. That's right, it appears men now have a viable back-up plan (or perhaps "Plan A" for some) if we end up striking out with the ladies when we're out on the town. And who knows, maybe we'll even have greater success if we end up looking a little less pathetic and desperate ... just a hunch. So, how can this be, you ask?

I read a story on Wired News about an advancement in personal pleasure devices for men called the "Nue." I think this is really going to level the playing field a bit for us guys, and for those other guys who haven't had much luck in the past, maybe it'll at least get your ass off the bench and into the game ... if not, at least you can have a little more fun in the locker room. The Nue, similar to the Tenga (a masturbation sleeve only available in Japan - I think that's what gives them the business advantage they have), contains disposable sleeves (so no messy clean-up) and supposedly molds nicely around you for a good feel. One of the volunteers for the Wired News story explained "it doesn't feel quite like a human vagina, but I could almost accept it as an alien vagina." Now that intrigued me; think of the marketing opportunities ... "For a feeling that's out of this world, try the Nue ...." Now who wouldn't try that on for size? Oh God, I even astound myself sometimes.

Now guys (and some gals), before you spout off all the "nothing feels quite like a woman's touch" stuff, you may be right, but there are some advantages to the Nue that you may wish to consider, especially if you haven't had your best night with the live variety. For instance:

1. The Nue is only going to cost you about $7;
2. You don't have to lie about your job, income, family and sexual prowess to get into the Nue's pants ... I mean sleeve;
3. The Nue doesn't care if you pass out half way through;
4. You don't have to worry about finishing first;
5. You don't have to worry about washing your socks anymore;
6. Dudes ... for some of you, this is all you're going to get;
7. You don't have to stop watching the football game for 3 minutes;
8. You don't have to call the Nue the next day;
9. You don't have to come up with an excuse for your performance ... because ...
10. It doesn't matter that you're the only one satisfied.

The only issue it seems the Nue has is that the volunteers indicated it would work better if it was fastened to some sort of rack, so you can have both hands free. Come on though, what guys today aren't already looking for a nice rack? Again, I'm so sorry for this, but I'm always a little friskier at the beginning of the week.

I hope I got this to you before you finished your Christmas wish list guys. Anyway, that's all for today folks, so until next, keep your eyes on the road ..... and BOTH hands on the wheel.