Hey hey friends; it's good to see you. So the view I had from the front seat today was NOT pretty and I'm not even referring to Robert, my business partner who I carpool to work with. In fact, I was alone today, so I basically had to talk to myelf this morning in order to get you some new material ... what I won't do for you guys. Anyway, the day started by my traveling to a Hotel for a meeting that I wasn't interested in going to in the first place; I know we've all been there before. The first problem was that I couldn't find the meeting room ... not because my sense of direction is bad, but because it was at an entirely different Hotel (same name, different place). That sucked, but wasn't a huge deal because I still had time to drive to the other location ... until I got back to my SUV and couldn't unlock my door .. because my ... um ... keys were on the ... um ... inside of the SUV. That, my friends, is a very bad feeling and not exactly the way you want to start your day. So then I had to pay for a cab to get me to the meeting I didn't want to go to in the first place.
The absolute worst part, however, was not the fact that I went to the wrong place, locked my keys in the SUV or even that I had to drop $30 on a cab. It was that all I could think about through the whole ordeal is what I posted in this blog yesterday (which I considered deleting today). If you haven't already read it, the post was about proving humans are not actually the most intelligent species, as scientists would have us believe. To prove my theory, I presented a few real life examples of what idiots humans can be and made quite a bit of fun of the subjects of the incidents. What I failed to do, however, is include myself as one of them. Well there you go; I guess it's possible that I may still have a little evolving left to do myself ... or maybe you guys just have me so tired from posting these blogs all the time that I can't think straight anymore. Again, what I won't do for you guys ....
Anyway, the events of this morning got me thinking about what other jobs may be out there for me, and I think I may have found one ... if I qualify. I think I meet all of the qualifications, except where I live. Condom manufacturer Durex is looking for people to test their products and they've chosen New Zealanders as their test subjects because they "are among the most sexually active and adventurous in the world." Some guys have all the luck, don't they? I've been told you make your own luck, so immediately after I finish this posting I'm going to be starting to learn a New Zealand accent; I know there are lot's of women who read these blogs and will be keeping their eyes open for the Kiwis now. What a difference a week makes. Last week I was talking about the news of Indian mens' pee sticks being too small for conventional condoms, which had to be quite a blow to their egos, and now we're making the New Zealanders heads swell (pardon me for that). If the Germans are reading this, now you have two different categories of guys to get to test your new spray on condom. Now that I'm thinking about it, what's with all the condom activity lately? Do we become more amorous around Christmas time or is this somehow linked to those recent Britney Spears photos on the Internet? By the way Britney, I didn't look ... I respect you way too much for that.
I also happened across another guy who, like me, has a job that's just a job. The Associated Press has reported that a teacher in Virginia was just suspended for sitting down on the job ... but not his teaching job. This ass actually paints his butt (and apparently genitals) and presses it / them against a canvas to create floral or abstract art, giving whole new meaning to "flipping the bird" (I know ... that was bad). However, he's not the real butthead in this story. He's actually selling these things online for up to $900 (but that one always looks really well hung). His most popular is $600. What kind of pee brains are buying those? Well, based on what I did today, who am I to talk ...
Until next time, keep your eyes on the road ... if you can actually get into your vehicle ....
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