New Chemical Bomb brings down Plane

Hello again fellow commuters! The commute today was much less eventful and frightening (despite my business partner's driving) than a poor group of terrified passengers on an American Airlines flight from Washington, DC destined for Dallas, Texas. According to reports from the Associated Press, the flight was diverted to Nashville, Tennessee after several passengers informed flight staff that they smelled burning sulfur. Yikes .... as if there wasn't already enough to worry about when you're flying these days ...

All 104 passengers and crew members were taken off the plane for some fresh air and were screened (along with their luggage), while the plane was searched. The FBI was called in to question passengers and after three hours of some "intense questioning" they were able to determine that a female passenger attempted to launch an attack with a new type of chemical threat, using a weapon called a "stink bomb." Thankfully, her attempt was foiled when she could not get the matches she brought onboard to ignite the fuse (incidentally, rumor has it that the suspect was also not able to obtain her campfire badge while in Girl Guides). On the positive side, it did, apparently, mask the strong odour that is typically associated with these types of bombs.

Reports indicate that the suspect initially attempted to mislead the FBI investigators with clever talk of having a flatulence issue during the flight due to a pre-exisiting, undisclosed medical condition which apparently causes the production of excessive gas. Nice try, but I don't think that kind of a story can fool the highly intelligent readers of The View from the Front Seat, let alone the FBI! The problem was that despite the fact that the story just plain smelled funny (or not really funny at all, but you know what I mean) they couldn't prove she was lying, as the canines that authorities brought in to sniff the plane refused to stay on the aircraft long enough to locate the stink bomb.

Since the FBI could not prove malicious intent, the woman was not charged, but American Airlines did ban her from flying with them again. It's clear that despite the FBI's ability to sniff out the truth, American Airlines is certainly not willing to fart around with these types of situations. For that, they have both my respect and my business.

Until next time, take some time to enjoy the fresh, winter air. in the interim, I'll be researching this claim about the medical condition, because, if it's true, I also think my business partner may be afflicted with this, as many of our commutes seem very similar to this story.