Michelle Manhart Highlights Discrepancy in Military Logic

Alright, I've been leaving this whole Michelle Manhart thing alone, but I can't keep my mouth shut any longer. I want to say up front that I deeply respect everyone who has chosen a career in the military; I admire you and thank you for it. My comments are meant for the military establishment (or at least my perception of it), not the individuals who work within it.

I find it incredibly ironic that an organization that exists to protect our ideals, our beliefs, our security and our way of life would turn their noses up at those and create their own belief structure. For the most part our ideals and beliefs have been formed over hundreds of years and formalized through the establishment of laws. These, as you know, are what society has deemed as acceptable and unacceptable behavior (again, for the most part).

The people who work within the military are just that ... people. They are no better or no worse than the rest of us ... they are part of us. They are just people who have chosen a very respectable career. However, it seems as though these individuals are held to different standards than the rest of us; standards created and enforced by the military establishment. The very creation of these different standards offends me. To me, it suggests that I am part of a less intelligent, less moral sub-society.

The beliefs (or laws) that the military establishment fights to protect include things like: it is wrong to kill others, every person shall have freedom of speech and freedom of expression, etc ... It seems very ironic that the military will place weapons in the hands of our family, friends and loved ones and tell them to use them to kill others (which is contrary to our belief system, but also an exception I think is justified) BUT find it unacceptable for someone within the military to pose nude (like Michelle Manhart in Playboy); making the statement "I'm in the military and I'm proud of the way I look." Especially when this type of activity is not against our belief system ... it is only contrary to the belief system of the military establishment. What ever happened to freedom of expression?

Whether your personal opinion is that it's tasteful or distasteful, it is not illegal and it does not warrant shaming someone out of their career. Quite the contrary, if you ask me. These are people who put their own lives at risk to protect our beliefs and way of living. If anything, these individuals should be cut some slack ... not held to a standard higher than the rest of us. After all, the "regular" people ARE the military ... let's not offend our own people by creating a system that suggests civilians are lesser class citizens. The military should be absolutely modeled after what society has deemed acceptable through the democratic process; it is the very model the military is fighting to protect.




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Britney Spears Shaved and Inked: Video

Well, well ... Britney's not just losing her mind now .... she's also lost her hair. Eyewitness News captured video of her at a tattoo parlour in LA with her new bald look, getting a tattoo (or more than one).

Want to see the video? Click here!

Britney Spears still 'Toxic;' Nicole Richey's Life not Simple

Alright, what's with all the young celebrities and their addictions? According to several different reports, Britney Spears checked into a treatment facility in Antigua, which is great, but then apparently checked out the next day. I guess she was on the express treatment program ("Live fast, recover fast"). Now there are claims that none of that happened at all ... so who really knows ... What doesn't seem to be getting disputed is that there are reports of people who are close to Britney that are worried about her "spiraling out of control." So whether she's really "Toxic" (sorry for that) or not, there seem to be people that believe she is (like her former personal assistant Felicia Culotta), AND she certainly was hanging out with the right club ... certainly not the Mickey Mouse Club ... Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohen (who's in treatment now), etc.

And the we have Nicole Richey, another young star who has another problem involving alcohol ... drinking and driving. Nicole was charged with her second DUI yesterday, for an incident occuring on Dec 11, 2006. Her first conviction was in June 2003; if convicted for the Dec 11 incident, Richey faces a mandatory sentence of 90 days to one year in jail. That would certainly throw a wrench into her social life wouldn't it?

Perhaps they should all go to jail for a bit. There's a treatment centre you can't check out of and I'm guessing it would be fairly effective.

Girl Presents Hiccup to Doctors' Plans

Well here's something I've never heard of before and it must be a real pain in the ... well ... chest. According to the Associated Press, there is a 15 year old girl in Florida, named Jennifer Mee, who can't stop hiccuping, except when she's asleep. The report claims she is hiccuping around 50 times per minute ... for all of you who aren't math magicians (like me), that's nearly once every second ... AND ... it's been happening for more than 3 weeks. That's freaking amazing! The doctors have tried everything from holding her breath, scaring her, sugar under her tongue, drugs, pickle juice, breathing into a paper bag, etc ....

It is unknown what triggered her hiccups, but they do know they started in school. Why couldn't I think of things like that when I was in school? Hey, I wonder if I could get me out of work?

R.I.P. .... Not!

In what has to be one of the most embarassing demonstrations of human behavior I've ever seen, Anna Nicole Smith is still unable to rest in peace. Despite what people thought of Anna Nicole Smith during her life, it's ridiculous what's happening to her remains now. I think she may have actually become more famous after her death 8 days ago.

For those of you who are just waking up from a coma, there are two main fights going on now that have prevented the proper handling of Smith's remains: where will they bury her and the "Who's your Daddy?" issue for poor, 6 month old Dannielynn (Smith's daughter). According to CNN, a Florida Court is expected to release Smith's Last Will and Testament today, which may bring to rest (pardon the pun) the issue of where to bury Smith, as her wishes may be documented in the Will. Currently the dispute is between Smith's former lawyer and lover (Howard K. Stern), who argues Smith wanted to be buried next to her son in the Bahamas and Smith's estranged mother (Vergie Arthur), who wants her buried at the family plot in Texas.

The second issue, of who's Dannielynn's father, is even more reprehensible. I think there are now 4 or 5 guys who have stepped forward and claimed that they could be Dannielynn's father, because they were all having sexual relations with Smith around the time Dannielynn was conceived. Hmmmmm ..... where were some of these guys before; I didn't see some of them arguing they were the father when Smith was still alive? Do you think maybe it's not really the child they're after???? These dudes would certainly make great Dad's wouldn't they? Some days I'm embarassed to be human; today is one of those days.

Porn for Geeks

Hey hey everyone; welcome back. Do I have a treat for you today. Are you a geek and having trouble deciding whether PCs are better than Macs? Do you want to see what would happen if Steve Jobs went head to head with Bill Gates? Then all you have to do, my nerdy little friends, is click right here.

Now Scientifically Proven that Size DOES Matter

Hey hey folks. I have some very exciting news today ... there were two HUGE findings in the science world. The first involves the "important" discovery of a really old, dead guy and if you're a geek like me, this is actually quite interesting. Dutch archaelogists have discovered a tomb which belonged to an official named Ptahemwi, who was Pharaoh Akhenaten's seal bearer. Pharaoh Akhenaten ruled Egypt from 1379 to 1362 BC.

The tomb had limestone walls and was apparently decorated with scenes from eveyday life, including monkeys picking and eating fruit, as well as Ptahemwi receiving offerings. For more information on this story click here.

The other LARGE find today is a study which scintifically proves what women have known for hundreds of years .... size really does matter. According to Reuters, scientists at the universities of Exeter and Glasgow found that female green swordtail fish "mature" more rapidly when they see a male with a big .... tail, of course. On the flip side, I remember "maturing" quite rapidly as well when my new, extra hot grade 7 teacher walked in my class for the first time, so I think it is also true for males ... although some women will claim that males NEVER mature.

Another interesting piece of the study demonstrated that young males actually slow down their sexual development for several months if they see a more endowed male, in essence waiting for there to be less competition for mating. I don't know if human males can actually slow their development, but in a similar phenomenon, you should see the dudes with the mini pee pees shy away from the gym shower when the stallions are around ... waiting for a time with less competition for a healthy ego.

I, for one, would like to express my gratitude to the science world for putting aside little things like finding cures for terminal illnesses to clear this BIG problem up for us.

Australian Women Uncover Key to Valentine's Day Satisfaction

Hey hey folks. I've got to tell you ... Australian women have definitely figured out the key to ensuring they receive great gifts this Valentine's Day. All they had to do was launch a campaign urging Australian men to whip it and snip it, instead of buying traditional Valentine's gifts. That's right, the 'V' in 'Valentine' in Australia this year stands for Vasectomy!!! Ouch!

They say it's the idea of a non-profit organization, which I absolutely believe. It's just run by a bunch of incredibly brilliant women. What better way to ensure you receive the best Valentine's Day gift ever than to throw out the vasectomy alternative to your man???? The ladies know that the only thing those Aussie boys will be snipping now are the stems to dozens of beautiful long stem roses. I don't think those crazy, inflated Valentine's Day prices on the floral arrangements are going to look so bad to the Aussie men this year.

Brilliant work ladies!

Laptops and Weapons Top FBI Most Wanted List

Well I certainly read something interesting on CNN today. It seems the Federal Bureau of Incompetence (I mean Investigation) has had 160 laptops lost or stolen over a 44 month period (ending in September 2005). In addition, the same number of weapons have also gone missing. But hey ... that's great news!!! Why? Well because the FBI is getting way better. In an audit conducted in 2002, the FBI lost more than 300 laptops and 300 weapons in the preceding 28 month period. Instills confidence doesn't it?

Anyway, of the 160 missing in the most recent count, at least 10 of them contain classified information (I think one of them contained the whereabouts of the 300 that went missing before). One actually did contain information on the identities of FBI personnel and several may also contain sensitive counterterrorism information.

The report also indicated that the FBI could not determine whether 51 lost laptops contained sensitive or classified information. Some of them were assigned to the aptly named "counterintelligence" (kinda sounds like the opposite of intelligence to me) division. In any event, it seems one of the problems here is that it's seemingly difficult to encounterintelligence (sorry; I couldn't resist) within the FBI.

Valentine's Day Going to be Hard in U.K. This Year

Hey folks. Well, Valentine's Day is only a couple of days away now and I'm sure many people (like myself) are wondering what to do or what to get for their special someone. You have to figure out a way to meet expectations, without greatly exceeding them to the point where you can't live up to them again next year.

If you're in Britain, I have some very exciting news for you this Valentine's Day. The perfect gift, that'll surely get you and your partner pumped up (if you know what I mean), will now be much more readily available. That's right everyone, I'm talking about those incredible little blue anti-gravity pills .... Viagra. Three pharmacies have decided to make them available without prescription as a pilot program, starting on the day when even married couples have sex, Valentine's Day.

Instead of seeing a doctor and getting a prescription, a guy now just has to take his floppy in for a quick consult with the pharmacist, where the guy's medical history will be checked and a measurement taken of their ..... um ..... well .... blood pressure, cholesterol and blood glucose levels, of course. You have to be between 30 - 65 years old, suffer from erectile dysfunction (why do we always say "suffer from?" Who wouldn't be "suffering from that?) and have 50 pounds (or approx. $97) in your pocket. Meet those conditions and you'll get a supply of 4 pills. That's like $25 a slap, if you know what I'm saying, so make sure you use them wisely. If you think that's a little steep after the flowers, chocolates and dinner, you can always just drop the $9 for a cheap bottle of wine, get her good and hammered and lie to her about how amazing you were the next morning.

PETA Bares all for State of Union Address

Hi Folks. Welcome back to the View from the Front Seat. This may be the shortest post I ever publish and definitely breaks from my normal light hearted style. However, I saw a video today from PETA who, once again, is using very unorthodox methods to demonstrate to people how strongly they feel about their cause. I am providing you with a link to the PETA video (which I struggled over whether to provide or not); however, I must warn you. During the first part of the video the girl from PETA does really get naked ... completely. The second part of the video contains very sad, disturbing (but incredibly powerful) footage of cruelty to animals.

I'm as yet undecided whether the methods used here were necessary to get the point across, but I cannot argue against it's effectiveness. It definitely has me thinking about things I have not thought about before. I have to give PETA kudos for having the guts to face the risk of greatly offending people in order to powerfully deliver a message the organization is clearly passionate about. Here's the link (again, it contains adult content):

PETA State of the Union Address

The Sexy 'Dirt' on Courtney Cox and Drew Barrymore

Alright, I have to tell you upfront, this post is really going to demonstrate just how male I am. It's all about what us guys think about every 15 seconds ... yup ... sex ... AND with two real cuties.

In a move that will be applauded by men all over the world, it seems Courtney Cox has refused to use a body double for naked sex scenes in 'Dirt' (her new TV show) because she is proud of her body (and I'm proud of you too Courtney - all of us perverts, um, I mean men, are). She was quoted by BANG Media International as saying "I'm not a little girl anymore - I'm a woman." Didn't Britney Spears write a song about something like that, not too long before she started flashing her hoohoo to the media? Courtney ... I think I like where this is going. To top it all off (guys you may wish to sit down for this and keep your hands above the keyboard) she has a hot scene where she lustfully kisses Jennifer Aniston, who plays a rival, lesbian magazine editor in a cameo appearance on the show. Damn, it's true guys ... all best girlfriends kiss. By the way, whoever it was that gave us the ability to pause and rewind live TV .... I love you!

Keeping with the same sex, let's try to impare the ability of all men to breathe theme, Drew Barrymore announced that she thinks Juliette Lewis is "hot!" Sounds like a crush to me ... and the truth doesn't really matter anymore ... because I've already created the image in my mind and nobody can take that away from me. Oh yah, and she apparently likes England quite a bit, because she thinks they inspire music and fashion for the U.S. Yah, whatever ... can we talk about you and Juliette a little more????

Ok ... that's all for today. All this sex talk is making me want to ... um .... eat .. .that's it. What were you thinking I was going to say?

Jessica Simpson to have Smart Children; Too Late for Britney Spears

Hey folks. Welcome back to the View from the Front Seat. I heard some incredible news today ... Jessica Simpson, despite her own ... um ... limitations, may actually have an opportunity to have smart children. That's right, Jessica apparently told Britain's Star Magazine that she'd like to adopt children before having her own. I certainly endorse that ... there are already far too many dumb people miraculously walking around on their own (and that's just where I work). I'm not sure it's actually going to work out the way she planned though, because right after indicating she wants to adopt before having her own, she indicated that she wants 3 kids, but isn't sure she can have three because she may find childbirth hurts too much. So maybe someone can help me out here ... if adoption is the option if it hurts her too much to have a child, wouldn't the adoption take place after she actually has a child of her own?

Keeping momentarily with the intelligence theme, it seems Britney Spears actually hooked herself a man with a brain ... as evidenced by his recent decision to get rid of her. Yup, poor Britney recently got the news from short lived flame Isaac Cohen via telephone, I think as soon as he sobered up, that it just wasn't going to work out (which is what men say when they're thinking "shit this chick is nuts"). He could have stuck it out another week though; I also previously read that she bought a special Valentine's Day outfit from Trashy Lingerie (go figure). Oh well, maybe we'll get to see the papparazi pics when she wears it out on the town that night.

Nudity, Fingers, Toilets and Diamond Rings

Hey everyone; welcome back for another commute with the boys from Cross the Line Designs. Today was a big day in the news, which means we had A LOT to keep us busy on the ride in to work today. I'm very excited to have you along so I can share .... because there's a lot, let's get right to it.

I can't describe for you how excited I was when I saw the first story. I really found out "What A Girl Wants" when I read the story on People Magazine's site about Christina Aguilera, her "Nasty Naughty Boy" husband Jordan Bratman and their Sundays ... or should I say their .... Naked Sundays!!! That's right folks, it seems Christina and that "Dirrty" bastard (who she obviously thinks is "The Right Man") get "Stripped" down to just their birthday suits every Sunday and do everything around the house naked. Now that definitely has to be a "Beautiful" scene. I have to stop thinking about this now or I want be able to finish this post.

In other news, about someone who lost more than their clothing, Reuters has reported of a man in Germany who discovered why some chocolate bars are referred to as "finger bars." There was a bump in the dude's Italian chocolate bar which turned out not to be a nut ... it was the tip (or former tip) of a person's finger, complete with finger nail still attached (I think they're more valuable if still in the complete set like that). Mmmmm .... good ... talk about chewy nougat. The Police wouldn't name the brand, but I'm thinking ... as always ... are there any Mafia organizations in the chocolate bar business in Italy?

Now, I wrote awhile ago about a toilet that I got excited about, in "There's Something Fishy About This Toilet," that features a built in aquarium, so you never have to do your business alone anymore. Well you can flush my exitement about that down the toilet now, because a new system's out ... and what a system it is. Roto-Rooter has created a restroom, which they're giving away in an online sweepstake, equipped with a laptop, flat-screen TV, an iPod and speakers, an Xbox, a refrigerator filled with drinks and snacks and an exercise bike. As if it wasn't hard enough to get some time in your washroom now, when you need it. I guess people are getting through the newspapers and magazines they read in there and need something to occupy them for a little longer. I'll be right back ... I suddenly need to use the washroom. Sorry I took so long, I couldn't find the remote for the toilet.

Ok, I'm going to end with the story of a guy who had an equally stupid (I mean heartwarming) idea. A passenger of a taxi driver in New York City forgot a bag containing 31 diamond rings in the cab when she got out. Despite only receiving a 30 cent tip on an $11 fare the honest cab driver decided to track the passenger down to ensure she received her bag. The unbelievable part is, he knew about the new toilet from Roto-Rooter ... and so coulda had one. According to a report from the Associated Press, when questioned about it the cabbie, very respectably indicated "I enjoy my life. I'm satisfied. I'm not going to take someone else's money or property to make me rich. I don't want it that way." Thumbs up to you my friend; I hope people learn from you.

Alright, that's all for today; I'll be by again tomorrow to pick you up. In the meantime, keep your eyes on the road ... and don't give people the finger.

The Difference between Men and Women

Hello everyone; it's nice to have you along for the ride again. Today the commute to work involved discussion of one of the things we know best ... women ... and more specifically, the the major differences between us and them. Today I'm going to talk about two situations where men and women will either either act like or say complete opposites.

Our friends from Reuters (this blog would be completely fictional if it weren't for those folks) reported that the average woman, in exchange for a closet full of new clothing, would be willing to give up sex for 15 months, with 2% willing to give it up for 3 years. At first blush, it's amazing that they could survey 1,000 women from 10 U.S. cities and find that many women that haven't had sex before ... but then it occurred to me ... the vast majority of women say the opposite of what they mean. The people conducting the survey were probably male and they were trying to throw them off, but you won't fool me. I've been around enough to know things like when a woman says "nothing's wrong," you better look the frig out. And there are a million examples I could have used to demonstrate the whole "women mean the opposite of what they say" thing.

How are men different? Well ... simple ... alright, that slipped out, but it's true ... we're simple. If you ask 1,000 men (straight or gay) 999 of them (I've made an allowance for the one metrosexual guy in the bunch ... and that's not a guarantee either) will indicate they are not giving up sex ... for anything ... unless maybe it's more sex with more people ... or maybe watching girls have sex ... but you get the theme here right? And guys ... just in case I'm a little off on the "women not saying what they mean thing," make sure your little lady doesn't find herself in the position of having to make that decision ... get your freaking credit card out of that dusty wallet you keep stuffed in that cheap ass back pocket of yours and keep filling up that closet of hers on your own. There's nothing wrong with buying insurance, if you know what I'm saying.

I'll give you one more thing before I leave to demonstrate how men and women are different, again thanks to Reuters. A beauty salon in London claims it can give the ladies' hair the ultimate" shine (which I know is VERY important to women), with a new mixture that's no bullshit ... it's actually ... um ... bull semen, but only of course from the real thoroughbreds. Ok ladies, does that get you as excited as the bulls? The treatment takes approximately 45 minutes and involves massaging the bull semen and plant root mixture into your hair until clients reach the climax of the process ... beautiful hair.

How are we different on this one? Well ... women will actually do that, thinking it's great to have the beautiful hair. Men will just ask questions ... like the ones I'm about to, but never actually dream of doing it. Who came up with this and how??? I can understand it happening by accident, but not really with a bull ... and maybe not the plant root. Who's job is it to collect the "product" from the bulls and how many collectors do they lose in the process? Man, I thought I had a hard (sorry about the bad pun) job. How do they get it from the bulls? Does the bull get a little private time with a cup and a PlayBull magazine? Is it also something men can also do? If it means a semi-sexual situation with a lady, just hand most of a plant root and, baby, we'll be good to help.

Alright, that's definitely all I'm saying today; I'll be by again tomorrow to pick you up. in the meantime, keep your eyes on the road ... and hands off the stickshift (if you know what I'm saying).