Forget Iran; There's Trouble Brewing in the Jungle

There seems to be as much or more talk lately about Iran (and there possible nuclear program) than there's been about Britney Spears (and her nuclear meltdown). It's stories like these that make us run the risk of ignoring the real problams out there. Forget Iran for a minute ... there's some scary stuff going on in Senegal that's going practically unnoticed.

According to Reuters, a couple of on the ball researchers from Cambridge University (and formerly from Iowa State University) have been observing a group of chimpanzees from Senegal evolve in a similar way to early humans (or at least hominids). It's not surprising though since they share approximately 98% of the same DNA humans do. These chimps have started to make spears on their own, from branches that they've chewed at the ends into points, and have started to use them to hunt ... and already successfully on at least one occasion. Interestingly, it seems to be the females that are doing the hunting, demonstrating that the male chimpanzees are evolving at a much faster rate than male humans ever did.

Why should we be more alarmed over this development than Iran? People ... we've been locking up these chimpazees' family and friends in cages for years now, standing outside them, watching and making fun of them. These guys have to be waaaaaay more pissed with us than anyone in Iran. When have we ever done this sort of humiliating thing with anyone from Iran? And it's just a matter of time before they figure out that we humans really aren't all that smart. Oh my, I don't want to be around when that happens.

I say we release some information now to the people of the world that we're confident these angry chimpanzees are developing weapons of mass destruction (they've already used them to kill) and go in and clear them out, before we find our sorry asses naked and hanging from some stupid rope in a cage to the delight of hoards of mocking chimpanzees. Hey, does Iran have zoos? Maybe they'll help us out with their new weapons program.