Alright folks, it seems crime is getting a little tougher these days ... at least getting away with it is in some cases. On January 2 I told you the story of a man from Detroit who likes to grab the ladies ... the wooden ones that is ... in a post titled "Man faces Hard Time for Stiffy Fetish." He was arrested after stealing sexy mannequins from stores, the last being a real hard body wearing a french maids outfit. That arrest happened only a week after he was paroled for his sixth break and enter conviction over a thirteen year period. Well, I can complete the story for you now ... the judgement is in. The dude goes back to the big house to serve more hard time (or is that time for being hard?). He gets 18 months to 30 years, which is quite a range if you ask me; it kind of reminds me of the way they do the weather forecasts around here. Anyway, mannequins everywhere breathed a sigh of relief that they're now safe again ... knock on wood (sorry for that one).
In other crime news, further demonstrating how difficult it is to get away with crime nowadays, Police were finally able to catch a robbery suspect who has eluded them several times in the past. The 16 year old robbery suspect, wanted for robbing a man at gunpoint and stealing another man's car after beating him with a brick, finally got tripped up .... by his own pants. Yup, the little moron was wearing those ultra cool low riding pants when he decided to play tag with the Police. He was faster than the Police, but he made one fatal error. He forgot to steal a belt from one of his victims, which would have prevented his unfortunate wardrobe malfunction during his escape. The poor guy's baggy-ass pants fell down around his knees, bringing him to his knees and allowed the gleeful, doughnut stuffed Police to finally catch him. By the way, in related news, a scientist has apparently created a product which is believed will revolutionize suspect apprehension for law enforcement officials everywhere ... a caffeinated doughnut. The product obviously does nothing to assist their speed or conditioning, but the buzz is believed to provide them the ability to run longer than their not so high suspects.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment